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Existence Appreciation Realizations

It was my annual existence appreciation day last 20th of January, and I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather answer my age as "twenty-something" than its actual value. Kidding aside, this year's celebration was quite weird despite the good surprises and the best company. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast during my birthday weekend celebration. But I found myself at a state of confusion, yet again. Thoughts continue to cloud over my head, but even if some of them seem negative, I know that I can be able to turn it around and use it to my advantage.

Negativity aside, I'd like to share some of my realizations as I transform into my best self (which is hopefully soon, please, universe, hahaha).

One thing I'd like to remind myself is to listen to my body. I keep forgetting about this and I overwork myself most of the time. I expect way too much and I always invalidate my own existence when I'm not productive of if I just chill. I always have this thinking that I need to produce some sort of work or progress every single day. But lately, I've learned to embrace the chill, if you could call it that. I am slowly in the process of accepting the idea that not every day surprises a challenge that I need to overcome. Sometimes the bare minimum is the only thing I can do for the day and it's totally fine.

Similar to listening to one's self is the concept of trusting your gut. I cannot tell you guys how many times my gut-feel has saved me. Even though I have a tendency to overthink, I still give myself credit for trusting my gut. I don't really know what the whole psychology of intuition is about but it has saved me a couple of times from pain and regret. One thing to note though is that it is not always the right decision. But maybe, just maybe, it's your mind's way of telling you what you really want in that moment. That's not at all bad.

Postponing one's opportunity for growth is probably my biggest regret. And I've come to realize that you will never be 100% ready for anything. Sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith. Preparations are a big help and it's considered a necessity to push up your capabilities and maximize your potentials, but it is how you set your mind that you want to achieve something will push you even further.

Speaking of potentials, it is hard to continue learning or doing something that you are not at all interested in any way. So make sure that there's a spark within you that you can ignite into a burning desire to do it for the rest of your life. I've said this before but I think it's an important thing that I need to keep reminding myself. I can't lie about what I love and what I desire. 

As long as you're determined to achieve and conquer, hindrances are just temporary. The things that are keeping you from growing does not define you, and so are your failures. You must remind yourself that failures exist for us to learn and grow. It is an essential part of life and it coexists with success. Just like the idea of happiness can't exist without sadness, darkness is nothing without the light.

Just like anyone else in the world, we all have ups and downs. Healing and growing isn't a linear thing, sometimes it's as wild as a roller coaster ride. 

Yep, those are just some thoughts and realizations I had in mind. I'm still at a state of confusion and I've yet to embrace these ideas and apply them in my life. As the days pass, I yearn to transform to my best self. But I'm still proud of who I am right now. Slow and steady, my friends, slow and steady.

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